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After he got his shit and left, I finished what I had been doing. I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on TV shows on line. I did keep up with them, but not to the extent that I couldn't miss a few episodes and catch up later.When bedtime came, I was alone again, and I was fine with that at the moment. I knew that the time would come, and it wouldn't be that much longer, when I need that rush. The one that sex of any kind gave me. If it wasn't rough and dangerous, that was okay for a while, but I had to have some kind of sex fairly often. Now and then it had to be rough or dangerous. I had come to accept that fact of life for me at least.The next day I didn't even go ask Rodney, I just ran. I ran the usual hour, when I returned to the room I was exhausted. Since Rodney hadn't returned, I went into the bathroom for a long slow shower. The warm water eased the pains I had and I hope eased the pain that was coming later. I spent a lot of my day in pain lately. It wan't sharp. Give me twenty or thirty years and I will better know why. There are deep pools of love in you that will take a long time to explore and know. I want to take that time with you.”I pulled her tightly to me and kissed her. I added, “Is there anything we need to do while we are waiting?”“No, Jack. There are things we could do but nothing that cannot wait and it will. We have plenty of time and we need to talk some things out. Where are we going to live? Are we going to maintain two homes? How are we going to live on a daily basis? However, all of that can wait while we address John’s problems to the extent we can and help Becky with her mother.“They are grown and we need to treat them as grownups. With both of them, we just need to listen. Jack, keep in mind that I love you and we will face together anything life throws at us.”The doorbell rang and it was John. He looked tired and unhappy. I had opened the door and Sandy walked him into the living room. She sat him on a chair facing the.
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